Lalit Modi

Warning: The contents of this post have been collected from internal sources in the education ministry. The author can not be held responsible for any claims made in the article.

After changing the world of cricket with his innovative ideas and ruthless approach, after introducing to us the shortest version of cricket known as 20-20, after being thrown out disgracefully from the IPL, his own baby, and after having failed in creating a rebel league in England, Lalit Modi has decided that he would now turn his attention to something that is very similar to cricket, at least for us Indians.

And that is examinations. Just like there is no running away from cricket for any Indian, similarly, there will never be any respite from examinations. Just like cricket, examinations have the ability to bring people together (if you know what I mean). And just like cricket can make the entire nation wait with bated breath for the result of an important match, similarly, exams make not only the students but also their parents expect the unexpected.

Keeping all this in mind, Mr. Kapil Sibal, the saviour of students, the abolisher of board exams, the man of the moment, the salvager of Indian education has decided to rope in Mr. Lalit Modi. And what you are about to read is the first draft of their proposed policies to revolutionise education in India forever.


Here it goes: 20-20 version of examinations:

- Auctions would be held for determining the seating arrangements. The most sought after seats (near the toppers, at the back of the class) would have a higher reserve price than the not so sought after ones.

- Students of each class would have the option of naming their teams. Rights for names such as Kolkatta Copiers, Delhi Duplicators, Cochin Cheaters have already been auctioned off. Please check for availability before deciding on your team name.

- Power play would be applicable for the first 30 minutes - No invigilator in the room.

- A five-minute strategy break would follow every hour of exam time to allow for a healthy team discussion. This time would not be added to the total exam time.

- Cheerleaders would be present in every room: they will cheer every time someone turns over a page (I know it can cause a lot of wastage of paper, but that is being worked upon).

- Freehit marks to be given to every student for any unexpected question.

- Post examination parties would be held to allow for intermingling of students with the examiners. This would undoubtedly increase the quality of results.


Lets us all unite in prayer for the passage of this bill in the Lok Sabha (after our ministers are through with creating a ruckus, walking out and other stuff that politicians do to make their presence felt) so that the future generations of this country do not have to go through the pain, the suffering, the trauma, the torture and the anguish suffered by us and millions of others before us. AMEN!